


Just Bent

by oh_kathryn_my_captain



Category: Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (TV)
Genre: Gen, Mental Health Issues, No Romance, Referenced suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 03:59:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13227639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oh_kathryn_my_captain/pseuds/oh_kathryn_my_captain
Summary: It's been exactly one year since Rebecca tried to take her own life and she's not sure what to do about it.





	Just Bent

**Author's Note:**

> Stacy the Flight Attendant deserved more recognition and now I am giving it to her because everyone needs a Stacy when they're at their lowest point.

It was exactly one year ago today when Rebecca Bunch swallowed her mother’s anxiety pills because she thought it could cure her suffering. She didn’t know if everyone had forgotten or if they had collectively decided not to bring it up. Or maybe she shouldn’t even be thinking about it because it didn’t even mean anything after all, right? She was a different person back then, before she got the help she needed. Maybe her friends made the decisive choice in not saying anything. Maybe it’s at the forefront of each of their minds and they spent this week getting home from work crying because they could have lost someone to a statistic.

Now would be the time when any sane person would walk out of the grocery store because why the fuck are you buying cake and ice cream on the anniversary of your suicide attempt, Rebecca Bunch? 

Well, it was better than sitting at home, spiralling into a snowball of thoughts that ended with asking whether or not there was a proper way to spend the day of such an anniversary. There were no social customs regarding suicide attempts as far as Rebecca knew so why not buy cake and ice cream and sit home alone watching Disney-Pixar films?

“Bunch? Miss Bunch?”

An unceremonious twirl revealed the woman who was calling Rebecca’s name--a tall blonde who seemed increasingly, albeit only slightly familiar.

The confounded look on her face must have given her away because the woman’s cheery face dulled slightly and she said, “I’m sorry, I had a feeling you wouldn’t remember me but I had to come over and give it a shot. I’m Stacy, from the New York to L.A. flight.”

Rebecca had to contemplate this bit of information before realization struck her. “Oh! You--you were the um, the--”

“Stewardess.”

“Yeah, the stewardess! On the flight when I asked for a glass of wine and then swallowed a handful of pills…” Rebecca had mumbled the last part but Stacy gave her a perturbed look. “Hi! How are you?”

“You know, you’re right. I shouldn’t have done this, this is awkward,” Stacy said, turning her shoulders towards the end of the aisle.

“Wait, that was my fault. I usually make people feel some level of discomfort in any scenario no matter how long I’ve known them. It’s...my thing.”

Stacy gave a half-hearted chuckle and resumed the conversation. “So...are you doing...better?”

It was interesting the number of creative ways people could think of to avoid saying anything remotely related to death. 

“Sometimes.”

She didn’t seem to accept that as an answer. 

“Sometimes?”

“Well, I got the right diagnosis after years of trial and error and I’m now in group therapy working on balancing my Borderline Personality Disorder. I still have to deal with the whole thing about normal _human _mistakes. It’s been so long since I’ve been an actual human being instead of ‘that crazy chick’ I’m finding it difficult to acclimate which you would think would be easy because now it’s just a treatable illness instead of a quirk or a failure in my endeavors as a human...but it’s not. So--yeah.”__

__The moments in which everything Rebecca had just blurted out sunk in for Stacy were filled with whispered regrets from the back of Rebecca’s mind. It took her long enough to trust people close to her, but now she’s going around blabbing intimate details about her mental state to a woman she’s interacted with for a grand total of about 7 minutes. She was like this on the plane too. The way Stacy asked her if she was okay, it seemed like she wanted the real answer and not recognition of social pleasantries._ _

__“Yeah, there’s a lot people don’t tell you,” Stacy agreed._ _

__After an inaudible sigh of relief, Rebecca continued. “I’m okay though! Sometimes...”_ _

__“So you said.” Stacy’s eyes dropped to her shopping basket. “Oh, are you having a party?”_ _

__“Oh, um… That’s actually for me.”_ _

__Stacy raised her eyebrows and laughed, aware that Rebecca probably wasn’t joking. “Well, respect. I know I have days like that sometimes. I could go for an entire pint of ice cream with half a cake on the side right about now.”_ _

__“Really? What socially unacceptable celebration of the anniversary of a horrific event are you thinking about?”_ _

__Not expecting that very specific question, Stacy smiled confusedly before answering, “I’m just going through some general, run-of-the-mill bullshit, but...are you celebrating the anniversary of something?”_ _

__The last thing Rebecca wanted was to get all dramatic about the thing she was deliberately _not _getting dramatic about. “Oh, that? It’s--it’s nothing. Nuh-uh. Nope. Nothing important happened to me a year ago. I’m just...fat. I’m fat.”___ _

____She clicked her tongue in disapproval. “Don’t say that. Look, if you don’t want to tell me, I get it. We don’t know each other, like, at all and you probably could’ve gone your whole life without seeing me again. Plus, girl, you are killing it at that perfect size you are.”_ _ _ _

____Self-deprecating humor was a part of Rebecca’s daily routine, but someone was now telling her...otherwise? Perfect. That was the word she used. _Perfect _.___ _ _ _

______“Without you, my whole life wouldn’t have been too long,” Rebecca mumbled; shy but still loud enough for Stacy to hear._ _ _ _ _ _

______Stacy smiled--a sincere, compassionate smile that embodied every reason Rebecca pushed that ‘help’ button one year ago. “Well, Miss Bunch, you should know that there’s a lot of people that want to help those who need it. I’m glad you got the chance to experience that because, well...not everybody would have been strong enough to ask for help.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Still, I never got to thank you for what you did,” Rebecca admitted. Just as Stacy was about to protest, Rebecca said, “Let me take you out for coffee.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She seemed surprised by the offer and, once again, Rebecca wished she had a more reliable sense of social rules until Stacy said, “That would actually be great.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You free right now?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Completely.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Every other friendship Rebecca had sprung from a version of herself that she hated. Her subconscious insisted that her obsession with Josh Chan and her unhealthy choices would always remain a part of her if she held on to those people, and there was no denying the small bit of truth to that. In fact, that’s probably why she wanted to be alone on the anniversary of the catalyst that brought her to her healthier self. She questioned whether she could even form a life outside of the one she created revolving around Josh Chan and now the answer is standing right in front of her. There was no need to trash all her old friends and move to another town but there _is _a time to move forward and forge a new life in which Josh is irrelevant.___ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this fic after the airing of "Josh is Irrelevant" because it came painfully near the anniversary of a suicide attempt by someone very close to me. A lot of feelings are behind this piece and I hope that anyone who has been through what Rebecca went through can find the closure that comes with time and a helping hand.
> 
> Special thanks to Rachel Bloom and the writers, cast, and crew on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Those episodes gave a lot of people hope that they could get better.


End file.
